Half Empty, or Half Full?
by RedOrangeYellowBlueGreenPurple
Summary: Who knew bartending in Ponville could be such a hassle?
1. First day on the job

I take my first step into my brand new job. By first step, I mean by working my first shift which happens to be an entire night. I don't mind it though, I've worked a bar before. It's quiet, cleaning out the mugs, washing the table, and listen to some calm music. My ideal evening indeed, so I'll gladly take the night shift. Looking down at a recently scrubbed glass cup, I can see past the residue of some alcohol, and ironically find my face. My brown, green eyed, murky looking face. Perhaps there's a hidden morale in this, like I just found myself at the bottom of the barrel, or cup in this case, coming to a realization that I took a job as a bar tender and could possibly aid someone in an irresponsible death...Naah, just need to scrub harder! Who's going to find a life lesson in a beer mug anyways?

My well thought out philosophy is put on hold once a couple mares drop in through the door, chattering amongst themselves. I would write them off, but they look way too young to be walking into a bar like this. One with her mane all frilly, hung down her neck in a rainbow spectrum. Another looks like a more grown up, Texan type, given away by her Stetson hat. Following behind them both is a rambunctious pink mare with crazy, fluffy hair and an obnoxious voice, shouting about just how much she _loves_ to bounce. Odd little patch of fillies...Regardless, I ponce my way over with an upbeat attitude and nod at the trio, carrying my rag stuffed into a mug with me as I continue cleansing it.

"How can I help you?" Best to keep it nice, maybe they just a want a juice or something...

The rainbow maned one spins around in her stool and lays her hoof on the counter pointing up. "Two cider, one regular."

Shit. "Ahh...Would you remind an old folk what a 'regular' would be for you?" _Really_ shouldn't be that obvious...

"Uhh...A beer?" The rainbow'd mare raises an eyebrow and shakes her head.

If she has a regular, then surely she's been here quite a bit and that means she's of age. The last bar tender wouldn't slack off...Right?

"I see..." I turn around and begin to make some cider. It's no sweet apple acres, but it's a lot better than that garbage those jokers with the machine made. Scooping up a couple cups, wiping them out once again, then sliding them under the barrel spout and letting the cider fly. I've done this plenty of times before, as well as tons of other low end jobs. Even been a plumber once, but that didn't last. If these are the type of customers I'm gonna be serving here, this'll be a real laid back job. Couple ladies drinking, not causing a ruckus. They have only been in the bar for a few minutes though...I get way to into these kinds of things. Just give them the damn drinks. Behind me though...

"So Applejack, do you ever go anywhere without your hat?" The rainbow mare asks from behind.

"...No. I like it where it is, thank you." The Texan replies in a heavy southern accent.

"Oh, oh! It's like me and my hair!" Yells the pink, loud mouthed

"...Pinkie, I don't know if any of us would have a laugh without you." Chimes in the other obnoxious voice followed by a friendly chuckle.

After hearing a slight silence, I turn around with the two apple ciders, and slide them into the rainbow mare's hooves, to which I then place the beer filled mug in front of her, assuming it's hers. "Enjoy girls." I say with a smile.

I lay back against the counter, constantly cleaning the mugs and counter top as they talk on about each of their quirks. With all the cleaning I've done, I'm beginning to think I have OCD, but that doesn't do any harm. Makes me paranoid that the bar doesn't look good enough, and if it doesn't look good enough ponies might not come in, and if they don't come in, I'll look less professional, and...Wow, I really am paranoid...

"Hey, why'd the music stop?" I hear the rainbow mare question, and I look around confused a bit. I didn't even realize there was music playing! Then, seeing the most obvious thing in the bar from the smell of heavy alcohol is a small stadium with two mares pointing hooves at each other. I realize now just how blind I was as there's a large cello, probably bigger than the ponies in the room, and a little DJ area set up adjacent to it. I, like the three stricken mares across from me, stay quiet and watch the scene before us.

"You think that _awful_ excuse for art is appealing?" The much more sophisticated pony questions with a rich Canterlot accent.

"It sounds a lot better than your single note 'classical's'!" The other mare counters, dropping her hoof and instead stands much closer, flaring her eyes.

"My music is made on a _real_ instrument. Yours is made on that...Thing." She says, shying her hoof at the mares equipment like it might give her an infection if she gets too close.

"All your music sounds the same!" The white mare counters, shoving a hoof inches from the classical ponies face.

"All _your_ music sounds the same!" She counters, doing the same.

It's then that I realize it's not my customers I have to worry about...It's my fellow staff. This is going to be a long night...


	2. Lack of a Melody

I decide to let the girls deal with it their way. By the way they're yelling, it's like they've had this argument before. This music is better, that music is better. I personally don't mind the wubs that the DJ pony makes, but I do prefer the classical ponies style.

"Ever since college you've been playing that punk music that you say has a theme. How many awards have you won, again?" The glowingly snobbish Canterlot pony asks with her hooves crossed.

The other pony surprisingly stays quiet. I expected out of the two that she would back lash hard from something like that. Instead she bows her head down, and again to my surprise, the attacking pony apologizes.

"I'm...Sorry Vinyl." Her voice sounds as defeated as the other's face looks. "Go take a break."

Pretty soon after the white mare gets up, making her way to the counter, I get back to my scrubbing. I have been cleaning the same cup since I got in here...Maybe this should be my personal one, my trump card I could use to act like I'm doing something. Yeah, no one will fall for _that_. At this point, the other three mares are talking quietly in their spot, moving from the counter and stools and to the back.

I casually stroll over to the white mare who has one hoof laid over the counter and the other holding her head up barely. "What can I get for ya, ma'm?" Keeping my voice nice and soothing; if I just had an argument with a friend, I'd want someone with a gentle voice to talk to me.

"Some real heavy stuff would do right now..." She mumbles in her hoof.

"Oooh...Well you see, this is a high class bar. We got nothing but the good stuff. A whole menu of heavy 'You drink it and you won't even remember if you asked the person sitting next to you in bed to come hoe with you' drinks." I say with a friendly ton.

She doesn't take too kindly to it though and just gives me a glare. "Alright, alright...How about...Some good ol' scotch?" I ask, giving her a grin. She doesn't nd, so I assume it's good enough.

As I'm pouring out some clean yellow Scotch, the other three ponies leave the bar, the pink one having to bounce out. Really odd girl, that one...

"Here ya are." I say sliding the large mug to her as it slyly gets cupped by her hoof. I lean on the tabletop. She looks so glum and awfully depressed like that. I know, even as a bar tender, that alcohol does not change your attitude from frustrated to happy. _Especially_ the heavy stuff. I get paid to keep my mouth shut about what customers should and shouldn't drink though. "Drink everything!" Is what it's usually all about. I have a little more integrity than that...

"You know...I kind of liked your style." I say, giving a light shrug as I admit it. I didn't _really_ like it, but I thought it was better than the majority of new music these days.

She leans her head up and stares at me with curious eyes. "Are you flirting with me?"

Oh shit...That is not what I meant at all, way to go loser. "Oh nonono, that's not at all. I just...Heard your argument, and if I had an argument with a friend...I'd like o hear some encouragement. _friendly_encouragement." Good save...

She drops her accusing look and sighs. "Yeah, all the 'Encouragement' I need is this right here." She takes a big swig from her mug. Judging by how easily she takes it down, I can decipher she drinks a lot, and I'm willing to bet most of the causes are from their arguments.

"So you two have known each other for a while? Since college?" Ufh...Come on man, don't be too creepy!

"Yeah...Do you have nothing better to do than listen to people?" She lays her head on the wooden counter, more or less smacking it actually.

I hold up the cup I've been washing for about an hour now, shrugging as I pull the rag out of it. "I get paid to do that." Smooth, not like that's gonna be any more cre-

"Heh...and I get paid to burn through hard liquor." She chuckles as she speaks, giving me a good sign I'm on the right path. So some dark humor does the trick for ya, huh?

"Don't let that _hard_ liquor get to you too much, otherwise you're gonna be getting paid to be an organ doner." That was just one of the worst jokes I've ever made...

"Pfft! I got nothing for that." She is really cracking up now, and I smile, seeing I got through. really good sign, now to see the problem.

"So I see you're a little brighter now." I give a smooth, friendly smile once again.

"Yeah...Can't get much whiter than me though." She says with a single raised eyebrow and looking at her pale white hoof. I can't deny, it was kind of funny. I can't even see her eyes, but I imagine one is scanning her hand like it has something deep in it and is attempting to study it behind those large, blue lensed glasses.

"You look fine." She gives a cool sigh, leaning back on the stool and nods appreciatively. I'm getting good at this already! "If it's not too personal, and I hope that drink there isn't influencing your opinion over this, but...Why do you two argue like that?" I really have to keep a gentle tone here, because she doesn't seem like the type that let's anyone into her personal things. She does however take in a deep breath and begin, so I take my Que and lean forward and listen attentively.

"We've been friends for a while. Met at college and were roommates. I played my kind of music more often than she played hers, but...She didn't really mind it. I even found her moving to my sexy wubs sometimes. I figured she was just embarrassed, caught in the act, ya know? We both were taking musical classes, and...Well, I think she just got a little weird. More secluded from me and stuff. Since we've been doing gigs together for a while, and the past two years been working here for entertainment, all of the beef comes from the same thing...differences in music taste. I dunno, I think her music is cool. She just doesn't get me, I guess." That sounds pretty typical...Back when I was a kid, we argued about who had cooler baseball cards. Now it's over music...Guess every generation has their pet peeves.

"I feel honored you would tell me that...But I think there's a deeper reason you two argue like that." going on a bluff here, but their arguments sound like husband and wife and not two friends bickering.

She looks at me with narrowed eyes, then looks around the bar for a moment. Empty...No surprise, it's midnight. She leans in on the counter and nods a couple times, sparking a smile. "You're good...What are ya, a therapist?" Her voice is more friendly and playful before. Is that a sign she trusts me? I'll take it.

"I'm just being natural." This is me being natural, but I can't help but be more curious than usual. Plus, I would much rather have cool headed co-workers than two hot heads.

"Natural, huh? You should've gone to school for that." She sighs in a solemn mode, and I begin to speak in an apologetic tone, but I'm not able to utter a word. "Alright, alright...I'll cough it up." She throws up her hooves and I crack a smile. I'm getting _really_ good at this. Or maybe this really is natural for me?

"Well...We weren't roommates for any reason. we dated the entire time we went to college, and a bit into our gig here. It was nice...err, emphasis on 'was' there, bud. A few dilemma's here and there, double sided opinions, bias bitching, and...I kind of screwed it up." A filly fooler? Wait no, _two_ filly foolers? Wow...That's something off the bucket list. Wait...Did she say bud? If only she new that's actually my real name.

"Hmm...Personal indeed...It's not my place to put my two cents at all, but I think I could give a bit of advice." I take my hoof off my chin and lay both on the counter. I should look confident in my next proposal, because I sure ain't.

"At this point..." She begins, looking into the bottom of her glass. "I'll take anything you got." She let's out a sigh, looking to the ground now. This mare sure does flop her mood a lot...As long as she listens.

"I think it's that you both like each other..." Immediately she turns her head with a huff. "Now here me out! You both like each other a lot...But have a lot of pent up aggression that you haven't been able to get out. Maybe...Sex? Or, you couldn't bring yourself to tell her some criticism on her music?"

She just glares at me, really narrowing her eyes and clutching her glass. That...Is not good. "Feel free to punch me in the mouth." I offer, leaning my face forward/

She makes an audible huff after a quiet moment, and nods slightly. "You nailed it. Real good, detective. _Real good..._" She sighs in defeat and let's go of the half full glass. Is it half full? Half empty...? Hmm...

"Want to know something?" I begin, going on a limb here. I get her attention though, so I continue, "That there glass...Look in it."

She gives me a questionable look, and I just nod, reassuring it's nothing stupid. She sighs, and hovers her face over it.

"You see yourself, right?" I ask, and she nods, staring straight into the drink she just consumed earlier. "Do you think it's half empty...Or half full?" So cheesy, but if that joke earlier got her going, this can't be too bad.

"...You going to give me a lesson on philosophy?" She asks after a few moments of silent, only the other ponies' melodies filling the room.

"Did you not say you'd take anything just a minute ago?" She sighs and nods. Good...Now for the sinker.

"Looks...Half empty to me." She brings her legs up, laying her hooves down and lowering her head on the cup.

"Really? Cause I'm sure that the mare over there...Would disagree." I give a sly nudge to the pony on the stadium, lost in her music. The white mare in front of me lifts her head up, a ring around her forehead from the cup and she looks at her friend.

"Yeah...So what?" She gives me a grim stare after a moment. This is going to either win it or lose it.

"I'm sure if you saw it half full...Maybe you both could get along?" I propose, bringing a hoof up for emphasis.

She stares at me with a raised eyebrow, and after a minute of me holding my hoof up, she drops her glare and sighs. "Yeah...Sounds like me." She admits, dragging her hind legs on wood. She cootches back in her stool and lays her head down on her hooves.

I thought that would've done it...Uhh, think fast Bud..."Look at her." I begin, me too going to watch her play. The white mare perks her head up and seeing me already watching the cello player, she too joins me.

Her hands move so methodically over the strings, like it's just coming to her as she breathes. She's had her eyes closed the whole time, moving and swaying to the slow, calm sound. It's very gentle, very low key and simply nothing else like it. Only a real musician can bring such calmness in a pony's heart with a musical number.

"She's beautiful..." Confides the white mare, not breaking her locked stare at the other pony. I can't help it, she is gorgeous, but it's not my type to have a rich like accent.

"Now look at the glass." I say, I too turning my head and looking at it. It worked even for me, as it looks fuller than before.

"It...looks half full." She admits, curiously looking at it from different angles like some magic has happened. Perhaps some had just happened...But not by my doing. I'm just an ordinary colt.

I stay quiet, just looking at her with a confident smile. I think I was made for this job, should make my mark a beer mug already.

She glances up at me a few times with a dumbfounded look, then stops the third time, just shaking her head at me. "You are...Really good at this." She says, giving a good, heart filled chuckle.

"Now that's better...How about you go to her now that you both see the this the same way?" I offer, crossing my legs over my chest.

"Yeah...Yeah, I think I will." She gets up from her stool, dropping a few extra bits on the counter. I smile appreciatively, and she does as well, then begins to walk off. As I'm collecting the couple bits..."What's your name?" She asks, turning her head back to me.

Hmm...can't say Buddy, that sounds like a kid's name. Or Bud...too happy. I got it..."Mr. B." I say, cracking a wide smile.

She takes it in for a moment, surely she has to know quite a few names like myself. She then tips her hand over her hair, like she would if she wore a hat. "Vinyl." She gives me a wink and walks back on the stadium. I don't mind that the gentle music stops for now, and instead the bar is whisked by a subtle conversation. I go across the bar, letting them have their privacy.

Well done, Mr. b...Very well done. I don't know if I'll be able to give great advice like that every time some pony comes in with a glum look, but if working the bar is this easy...I won't mind staying here for a long time.

As I'm cleaning out my personal glass like the crazy OCD stricken pony I am, I can hear a pony waltzing in once again. I walk up to the counter and find someone I've already met, the rainbow maned mare from earlier. I give a friendly smile like always and lay my glass down, putting my hooves on the counter.

"Wha-"

"Two beers." Well that was rude...Oh well, what can you expect this late at night. After a quick glance at the clock however, I can tell it's just hitting 1. So what's this little girl doing here?

"Comin' right up." I immediately turn around and cook up a couple beers. It's not that bad, it's no vodka or Jack Denials, that's for sure. So I assume she still wants to be able to make conscientious decisions. After a few minutes, I slide them right to her hooves, to which she scarfs one down in record time, I'd say. "Wow...You do that pretty good!" I say, immediately realizing how stupid it was...

"What's that supposed to mean?" She glares at me. That's been happening a lot to me tonight surprisingly.

"That you drink beer like it's kitten chow...?" I inquire sheepishly.

She chuckles and slaps her hand on the counter. "Kitchen chowder...Alright." I'm not about to correct her as she takes another swig, and instead go back to washing out my cup again.

"So you like dick?"

Uhh...This just got interesting...


	3. Two sides of a double headed coin

Do I like dick...What the hell kind of question is that? I don't, but I'm giving the wrong impression by just standing here, dumb founded at such an odd placed question. What do I say to something like that? Is this just going to be a kiddish joke or something? Whatever...What's the worst she can do.

"No, I don't." So blandly put with a monotone voice, I didn't know I could bring myself to that low of complexion.

"Yeah?" she replies, lowering one eye as she tilts her head to the side. "Me neither." She nearly finishes off her second mug with a sigh in the afterglow.

Alright...So she's either trying to tell me she's gay, or...Just being dumb. Maybe both, but it doesn't matter. Just a kid's humor, way different from mine. "[i]What's that supposed to mean?[/i]" I mimic her voice like she asked me a minute ago.

Without skipping a beat, "Means I like pussy, dude." she coyly reveals before sliding one of the cups over to me. I take it in my hand, and ponder for a moment. This girl just doesn't care about anything, or...Really doesn't care about anything. Sometimes I wish I could be like that.

"I see...Don't know what it adds to though. Beer?" I ask, grabbing the handle of the cup. A loud, boyish belch later and I take it as a yes. I turn around, fill it up in no time, and hand it back to her. Didn't even clean it out, no matter how horridly I wanted to...There's just so any germs everywhere and...Well, it's gross.

"Thanks...err..." She takes the mug with an eyebrow raised, assuming I' just going to blurt my name. I kind of like my nick, it's catchy. She sure as hell isn't going to know it's Buddy, she is definitely the antagonizing type.

"Mr. B." I inform her with a nod/smile.

She shakes her head and takes a sip this time from her refill. "Mr. B? You sound like an English teacher." I think she purposely said that with her mouth in the cup so it sounded muffled. I've never heard of being called an English teacher as an insult, so I'm not sure how to take it...

"You're too kind." I say with a hint of sarcasm. Is she the type of pony who likes sarcasm, or hates it?

"Yeah, sure. Look, when does this place close, it's like..." She glances at the clock. "3 in the morning."

Alright, now I know she's seeing blurs. because that says 1:20. I won't correct her though and just shrug. "When customers stop coming in." I say with a grin. That isn't true in the slightest, it never closes.

She raises both eyebrows and points a hoof up like she realized something. "Ooooh...So, suddenly it's all about the consumer?"

She surprisingly has a way with words...Not any words, but just...Yeah. I, being the good natured pony I am, just put my hooves at my side and nod. "I like to keep ponies happy." That's true, I do like it when people are happy. Just gives a better vibe to the environment. Like with Vinyl and her ex. They might not get back together, but they can be close friends and it just gives off a good energy flow. That's what I believe in.

"What are you? God?" She leans her head forward, scanning my face.

Oh boy...I' no god, far from it. "Just your average colt."

She shrugs and leans back in her stool, hooves behind her head and watches the two musicians on the stadium. I glance over too, and pleased to see they are playing together. It's a nice site...

"Mr. B?" She asks, much more serious than our last conversation.

I turn my head and lay a hoof on the counter. "Yes ma'am?" I politely ask, absent mindedly searching for my personal cup.

"Do you believe being gay is a crime?" She is still watching the two play.

Now I see...I stop searching and keep my mind focused on her now. "What brought this up?" I'd like to know exactly what did.

Seeing her just look at the two playing across from us gives it away and she stays silent. "Oh..." I take in a breath, swallow my confidence, and think up something. Thinking back to when I was little, my mother was very deep person. Perhaps she is where I get all this skill of talking to ponies, but that's not the point. She was also narrow minded...

"My mom used an old saying a lot...'Birds have no business skipping with stones.' " I stop, letting it sink in for a moment, and she turns to me with a grim face. "And you know what I say...? Fuck my mom." I crack a smile, as she does too. Sorry mom, I love you. It just had to be done.

"Pff...So you think gays are alright?" She asks, taking one hoof from behind her and laying on the table, while her other hands to her side.

I haven't met many in my time, but it's crazy that I've met three in just one night. Or, two, or...Nevermind, I hate math an timelines. Let's just go with three: This mare, Vinyl, and her ex. I don't [i]ind[/i] it, but it's not my thing to get into. "It's your life. You want to jump off a bridge because you think you'll see a higher power, it's all yours. I'm not going to give you a push, but...I won't be standing there mourning you when you splat either." That was dark...

"Ha! Alright, funny dude, how about you give me some good old fashioned lectures next time?" She grins widely, rubbing her hoof over the table.

Seems Ponyville likes some dark humor. That's good, I seem to be full of it lately. "I can try, but I don't want you to reveal anything you might regret after [i]that[/i] has warn off..." I give a light nod to her near empty cup of low class beer and she shoves a hoof my way, gnawing.

"Relaaaaaaax. I don't get krunk unless it's for some party." She leans over the counter, and quickly gets into what she wants me to help with. Seeing she obviously wants it quiet, I mimic her and lean down.

"I got a friend, m'kay? She uhh...you know, she's a filly fooler. Well, she doesn't think she'll be accepted by her friends if she comes out with it..." She turns her gaze to the wood, giving herself away right then and there. "Got something for that, all knowing-wise one?" She asks with a smug grin.

Yeah...I do. "You're that pony, aren't you?" I ask, getting up from my leaned in position and standing with my hooves crossed in a disappointed manner.

She rolls her eyes and nods mischievously. "Of course I'm a dyke. I have rainbow hair, I like sports, I admitted I like pussy already, come on. Just give me the damn advice so I can go." She crosses her hooves over the table and looks down at their cyan color.

Alright...going into some harsh territory, not so much as thin ice, but on some freaking lava. The fact she is staying and didn't just walk out, or just out right punch me shows she is somewhat desperate and afraid, even if terrible at showing it. Or hiding it for that matter. "They are called 'friends' for a reason. I know that you would only choose the best to label them with that grand title, so you must trust them...Who would they ever, [i]ever[/i] think less of you because you choose a mare?" Who would've known...Two times in one night...Morning, whatever, that I would have to give deep, personal advice to some filly fooling...Never thought I would be doing less bar tending and more therapy.

She looks at me with squinted eyes and a slightly ajar-ed mouth. She blinks a couple times, nodding that she understands.

"Do you love her?" Dumb question, but it has be said...

"No shit..." She says nonchalantly as she rubs her hoof over her eyes.

"Do you love your friends?" again..Just have to ask it.

She nods a little more furiously, rolling her eyes now. "Yeees...Come on man." She even looks impatient now. why are all the mares around here so Schizophrenic?

"Then why do you need a random bar tender to tell you to go out and live life to it's fullest with those ponies?" Bam...just the look of realization on her face shows I got it down. Definitely a mood swing, but for the better this time. She isn't crying, but just staring at me, her eyes shifting a little bit as she analyzes everything in a new view.

"You're good, Doctor B..." She admits, rubbing her hooves together. "Thanks man. You are a good pony." She offers her hoof over the table to me, and I take it with a big smile. Another case put in the bag...

"Please, if I may...What is your name?" I tilt my head to the side, trying to be as casual as I can.

She tips her head to the side, rolling her eyes like she just did something incredibly stupid. "Oh! Name's Rainbow Dash! r Dash...Or RD! I like em' all." She grins with her white teeth at me, placing her hooves at her hips.

"Well, my name is Mr. B, Doctor B, and just B." Figured I should give her a giggle before we part, and it works.

She rolls her eyes, a silent chuckle roaming over her. "I think I'll stick with Dr. B. Makes you sound like you actually did something with your life." She winks at me slyly, and I just shrug.

"You give me too much credit. How about a drink, on the house?" She's a nice enough mare. Difficult, but not for me with my new found super nice powers.

She raises an eyebrow, looking at the massacre of the beers she's drank already. " I haven't even paid for [i]those[/i]." She admits kindly, shuffling through a little pouch I just now realized she had.

I throw a hoof, shaking my head. "Naah...Just a few bits. We'll be getting some [i]real[/i] apple cider tomorrow straight from sweet apple acres tomorrow, so I don't think these three puppies will be missed." I don't see anything wrong with it. If it was some high class wine, it would be different, but this was just some generic, unnamed alcohol.

She smiles widely, bringing her hooves out wide and nodding her head back, gesturing me forward.

Oh boy...Shaking hooves and now a hug. Never thought she'd be this affectionate after some easy going advice. "Alright, alright..." I sigh, leaning forward for a nice, calm hug...then crushing as she squeezes tight, making my back crack loudly. "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" She is seriously gonna kill someone with an iron grip like that, and all she does is laugh a bit, then let go.

"Heh...Not my fault you're like a twig to me." She gives me an evil grin, placing her hooves at her side.

I stretch my back out, putting my hooves on my back as I do. "One more thing..." I leak from y timid voice before she walks away, getting her attention. "Who uhh...Is the lucky are? you know...So I can warn them to avoid a hug." Cracking a joke every now and then is good when you're trying to grab some info...I'm no detective, but I think I'm doing a fine job so far.

She squints one of her eyes, rubbing her hoof under her mouth. "Remember the southern pony that was with me while ago? That one." She looks pretty confident, like I am with talking. guess she doesn't mind talking about her now..."She lives at Sweet Apple Acres, too."

Really...? Now that's interesting. "I see...Should I...Happen to have forgotten we ever had this conversation if she happen to...I don't know, come up to [i]me[/i] for a word or two?" I give a one sided smile, leaning my head forward.

She shakes her head quickly, pulling her hooves up. "No..No no. that is completely wrong. She deserves to know absolutely everything about me, no secrets." Her voice is stern as well as her attitude.

That's...Really, really loyal. I don't know love or anything like that, but that's a really good example for showing you are dedicated. "As you wish...Would you be stopping by tomorrow?" Tomorrow...I imagine there will be a lot more ponies coming in tomorrow. I wouldn't be surprised if I don't even see her for a while.

"Yeah! I come here pretty often. Ya know, rather swallow my sorrows then spit them out." She laughs at her own joke, clutching her stomach.

Now [i]that[/i] was a horrible joke. Funny, but horrible. I just laugh to myself, and shoo her away. "Go...go go go before you get me talking like a sailor." I did have a swearing problem when I was a little younger...A quick motherly lesson and it was gone, but I often contract personalities fro other people I meet. Someone obnoxious, I get obnoxious. Someone cocky, I get arrogant. Someone with a dark sense of humor, mine gets darker. Just something I do...

"Alrighty then, Cap'n B!" She quickly dusts off out of the bar, gunning away like she had better be.

Well, I think that settles the night for me...About to be 2 in the morning and I' not even used to the schedule yet. But more importantly...This night is certainly one for the books. I met three filly foolers, made two of the as friends, discovered I have really good social skills, obsession with cleaning, and a nack for getting harsh glares. What a night...

I turn around and top my hoof over my head like I would if I had a hat to the two musician girls. Vinyl waves at me excitedly with a big dumb grin and her partner in crime just smiles from across the room. I grab my personal cup that couldn't be any cleaner and place it underneath the table in a small cupboard, and the rag in a bucket of water.

As I'm walking out of the bar, I realize something...[i]that was just the first night...[/i]

There are some pretty lazy ponies nowadays. I admit sometimes I don't like to get up from the couch to change the channel, but that's something else entirely. Asking your co-worker you never met to take your shift, while still having theirs is a completely irresponsible thing to do. However...It's not his fault if he really is sick. I sure as hell doubt it, but if I was in his situation and needed the same, I guess I can find some comfort in it. Still isn't fair that I had to wake up with just four hours of sleep and get to the bar quick so I can pick up the delivery of Apple cider and have to work a near full 12 hours. Thank god for overtime!

Making my way back into the bar the same way as always, I expect to see my new friend Vinyl and her close pony-friend playing some sharp music, but here I find I'm the only one in the bar. Looking around, it's actually kind of peaceful. It's quiet, kind of spooky since the lights are all out, but I don't mind the dark nearly as much as when I was young. I like it...It's nice. It's usually dimly lit anyways, so this isn't much of a change.

I make some oddly loud tapping sounds with my hooves as I trot my way behind the counter and begin soaping up the cups. It's usual that a bar tender would just do them all at once, tossing the lot into the tub and clean them off with a rag, but that is disgusting. There's a way better chance of some crap to stick on, so I clean each on thoroughly, putting on some soap for each one like an assembly line.

After some time passes, I hear a subtle knock from around the corner. Did I forget to unlock the door...? That's some customer service for ya right there!

Putting down the mugs and making a mad dash for the door, leaping over the counter and turning the corner, I am met with a friendly smile from a familiar orange pony.

"Hiya, mister. got yer apple cider here for ya." Voices the heavily southern accented mare, who I now know a little more about thanks to my friend Rainbow Dash...

"Good morning! You uhh...Need some help there?" Noticing she has a rather large cart of barrels outside, which no doubt house the apple cider, I can't help but offer a hand.

"Oh well that's a'mighty kind of you. You can haul them with Big' Macintosh if ya like." She turns around, walking out the door, talking from behind.

Big Macintosh? I wonder who that could be. Brother, acquaintance. Whoever, it doesn't matter. I make my way outside with a casual, as always upbeat attitude. And then I find out just who Big must be, a giant of a pony if I've ever seen one. He's been carrying the cart since Sweet Apple Acres on his own, so no doubt this colt is nothing to mess with. He doesn't look muscular, but he's tall and looks the part of a southern folk with some what out his mouth.

"Hi there, nice to met ya!" I offer coyly and he nods my way while the orange pony unhooks him. It's nice to see regular earth ponies now that I think about it...There's a lot of Pegasus' and Unicorns in Ponyville, it makes me feel kind of lonely.

"So which one's are we taking?" There's about 4 total in the cart that could probably hold six or more. I know they give out apple cider as a tradition, so how am I supposed to know which ones are for the bar, and for them?

"All of em'!" She answers with a snap as she frees Big. Well that shut me up...

Getting up onto the cart, I look around the top until I find the grip on it. Biting down hard, I begin to drag it off and [i]wow[/i] did I underestimate it's weight! This thing must be a hundred pounds! And It's not easy dragging a barrel of apple cider with your mouth that's 100 pounds.

"Heh...Little trouble there, Mr.?" The mare asks as she makes her way beside me.

Oh she has no idea. "Naah..I fink I goooot it..." I mumble while I try to yank it down, and drop off the cart and onto the ground. She just rolls her eyes as Big walks over and just straight up [i]pulls[/i] a barrel off and already on the ground. I knew this colt must have been strong, but damn! It's like paper weight to him, [i]I'm[/i] like paperweight to him. He drags it along while I follow behind at a much slower pace. the same thing happens again, I struggle, he shows me up until the job is done.

Before Applejack heads back, I stop her for a moment. "Hey uhh...You want a couple free drinks?" Maybe I can get to talk to her and get a different side of the story Dash told me.

She turns her head and shakes, givingb a slightly concerned face. "Sorry, but I got lot's of working to do, no time for relaxin'!"

That's fine, I don't mind a hard worker. But at least..."Can I know your name?"

She looks at me with a surprised face then stutters a bit as she speaks. "Uhh...I-t's Applejack."

Why would she stutter? I know for sure it's not me, I don't have [i]that[/i] kind of effect...Guess I'll find out in time. "Nice to meet you. I'm Mr. B." I offer my hoof forward with a friendly smile.

"Likewise, friend." She takes my hoof and we shake for a moment as I take in a subtle, deep breath.

"May I tell you something a bit...Random, Miss Applejack?" This is going to be so obvious, and I really hope Dash won't cut off my head for it...

"Uuh..Ah don't see why not. go ahead." She puts her hooves down and smiles widely with squinted eyes, probably fro the sun beginning to poke to the sky.

"Trust your friends..." That is [i]so[/i] obvious Bud, come on...couldn't word it in a cool, hip way like the glass thing?

Applejack looks a bit stunned, raising both her eyebrows and her pupils widen. Shit...

"Relax, Applejack...Your secret is safe. It's up to you to tell them, not me." Good, real close save..whew.

She looks still stunned, but looking to the ground now. No more words are exchanged, just a quiet farewell, and she's off.

"Hmm...that could've gone better..." And now I'm talking to myself, great.

after a couple minutes of taking a breath of fresh air outside, I walk back in the bar, this time leaving the door unlocked. Once I go back in, I realize it's completely dark again...I messed up with the locked door, but I [i]know[/i] I turned on the lights, even if it was a little. I trek my way quietly down the room until I'm inches from the open doorway into the main part of the bar, and that's when I hear a distinctive sound of glass breaking.


	4. Mr B and the 3

Glass breaking? I swear to Celestia, on my second day of work, if there's a break in I'm gonna be pissed. It's not even supposed to be my shift!

I clasp against the wall like it has a pony magnet, listening for anything else. I hear a quiet "Shh" and the pitter patter of hooves, but no words. Until..."I can't see anything!" A whisper/shout echoes in the darkness that is way to high pitched to be labeled as threatening. What are they, kids? Poking my head around the corner, I can't see a thing, but apparently whoever was in there could as I hear gasps. Going off that,

"Alright, who's there?" I demand more than ask as I round the corner. I hold off on turning on the switch for lights and give them a chance to reveal themselves.

[i]Silence...[/i]

I awkwardly shuffle my hoof over the wall until finally the lights burn up my eyes, having to squint for a few until I can see even a foot in front of me. I can hear fine though as tons of little steps and dashes are made through the bar like a herd of rabbits would make as they run from a predator.

"Run!"

"Hide!"

"Which one?!"

Once my vision un-blurs, I find a group of three fillies. A yellow pony underneath a table, a white one in the middle of the room staring at me, and just getting a glimpse of a small orange pony dashing behind the counter. Now what the hell is this? Why are there three fillies in the bar? In the dark?

"What are you [i]three[/i] doing in here?" After a moment, the orange pony defeatidly walks out from behind the counter as she realizes she isn't hiding from anyone and they stand together, quiet. They're just little kids, really little. I remember when I was young. I broke into my sisters room and messed up her bed like a mysterious villain, but I never broke into a bar! "I guess I should just go tell your parents..."

"No!" they shout in unison, their prepubescent voices voices making a terrible shriek when done together. I don't even know their names, but they're young. How would they know that?

"Mhm...So you mind telling me what you three are doing in here?" I try to be stern and all, but I look like I'm acting more than actually trying. And I'm not a good actor at all.

"We're trying to be ninjas..." The yellow one mutters with yet another accent, one reminding me of Applejack's. Huh...That's a coincidence.

"Ninjas? I don't remember thievery being part of the job description." I have no idea what being a ninja is about, or even if it is a job, but I know for sure these three don't know either. And they didn't steal anything, but why else would they break in? To hide for the whole day without me noticing? Sure that's sneaky, but it doesn't accomplish anything.

"We weren't gonna steal anythin', we swear!" The accented filly quickly pleas, while another chimes in,

"Yeah! We're just trying to get our cutie marks!"

Oh...Cutie marks? That put me back. Cutie marks...So they don't have theirs either? That strikes so many emotions and memories in me I can't even focus on one. My parents, school, college, last job, hurt, hate, redemption, empathy, glory; all of that passing through my head like it's a blender.

"Uhm...Mister?" One of them speaks up, moving a little closer with her head perched higher to look at me.

I didn't even realize I was spacing out. Shaking my head very lightly, I smile down at them with a sigh. "Alright girls...You can get your cutie marks somewhere else, cause today...You got caught." Trying to be as sarcastic and humorous as I can, I put my hooves across my chest and tilt my head high. When I do, theirs drops low.

"Sorry..." They mutter together and begin to walk away. Man...Not much more depressing than three depressed fillies walking away because you told them to leave.

Before I speak, I sigh loudly and gesture them to stop. "Alright, alright...You can stay for a little while, but when I say go, you go." I look at each of them as I speak, like a security camera, or interrogator.

Their faces glow and they all jump up and down, grinning widely. "Thank you!" It's like they're telekinetic; they say so much in perfect unison it's kind of creepy. Or maybe they say the same things so much, like thank you and sorry that they've kind of gotten used to the timing. That's also worrying!

I make my way past them and behind the counter once again, while they look around the bar, now studying it in new light.

"Glad you can see what you're looking at now?" I nonchalantly ask as I pull out my personal cup and a new wash cloth and start scrubbing. It got dirty over night...Excellent, now it looks like I'm actually making use of my time.

"Yeah! this place is so cool..." The orange filly says with saucer eyes as she looks at some of the large painting over the walls ad at some of the colored lights.

"Do you work here?" The little white one asks, spinning around.

Well obviously, but I can't tell them what I do. "Well sure! I'm the guardsman; I make sure little fillies like yourselves don't come in and ruin the place. If ya do, you get in biiiiiiiiiiiig trouble!" I give a sly grin, mostly to myself for my childish work. They all believe it though and gulp down their wallows.

"Golly...Wh-...what's your name mister?" The small yellow one tilts her head as she asks the same question I've been asked more ties in 24 hours than in my whole life.

"Mr. B." I'm really getting used to saying that on command now. Am I really just that interesting that ponies ask my name five minutes after meeting me? I hope not, because that'd drop my standards of living. "What are yours?" I put my hooves on the counter and lean forward, hoping they all don't shout it together like everything else.

They get together in a line each side to side, the yellow one to my left, then the orange one, and the white filly at the right. The girls at the ends lift up their hooves and shout one after the other, "I'm Sweetie Bell!" Then, "I'm Applebloom!" Finally, "I'm Scootaloo!" They drop their hoofs and give big toothy smiles.

Well that was needlessly over the top, but I give a clap none the less and smile. For a moment, I wonder just how I'm able to clap...

"and we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" They shout together, once again in perfect unison.

So they search for cutie marks? I thought I was an odd ball when I was a kid, but that takes the cake. "So what does it mean to be a 'Cutie Mark Crusader'?" I really am curious cause it can mean a lot of things, and I have time to kill, so this is a perfect time waster until they have to go.

"We have a clubhouse!" Scootaloo yells out tenaciously.

"We were in the papers!" Follows in tune Sweetie Bell.

"and we..Uhh..uhh...Do cool stuff!" Awkwardly chimes Applebloom.

Yep...I remember when I was young like them. Didn't even know how to answer a question without bragging about something. "Well that's all really fascinating, but what does it [i]mean[/i] to be a crusader of cutie marks? Do you just...Go out and look for them, or what?" I ask as slowly as I can, dragging this out.

"Oh!" Begins Applebloom, "We do stuff for cutie marks!"

Scootaloo quickly corrects her with a try-hard cool voice, "What she means is...We are on a quest for our cutie marks!" She gives a big dub grin while Applebloom glares at her.

Now that, I definitely can relate to. It seems there's lot's of ponies out there that pursued bravely for their marks, doing whatever, even being a ninja. That's a really depressing thougt that these three share a lot of my sorrow. Maybe they don't need to go yet...

"Why are you little fillies doing that? They're just marks." I say blankly, shrugging when I say 'Marks'.

They gasp, pushing their heads together over dramatically. "Just marks?!" Sweetie Bell slithers out with her gasp.

"They're only the most important part of any pony! It shows what their super special talent is!"Blasts Applebloom, once again yelling every line.

"And they look [i]really[/i] cool!" Adds Scootaloo with a big grin.

Most important part? Such bullshit...I don't need a little mark on my flank to tell me what I'm good at, or for any pony to tell me what I'm qualified for. I'm tempted to go off on a rant right then and there, but I hold myself down. they're young, they wouldn't know. But...Perhaps I could show them a little something?

"Cool huh? Want to see something cool?" I ask, raising an eyebrow for emphasis on 'cool'.

They all shake their heads together without skipping a bit.

It would be pretty funny to do something unexpected, like tell them to leave. It'd be funny for me at least. I walk back around the counter and once I do, I turn myself to the side, motioning to my flank. [i]My blank flank.[/i]

They each gasp, one after the other they like it was choreographed. "You don't have yer' cutie mark!" Applebloom blurts out to the world. The other two stay silent as Applebloom says all there was needed. I don't have my mark either.

"See? You don't need your 'cutie mark' to be somepony." I say that, but I'm nobody. Just a schmuck bar tender that's trying to be philosophical to a trio of fillies.

They all look at me like I'm a super pony though, their eyes wide, and mouths agape. "You should join the cutie mark crusaders!" Suggests Applebloom, to which I immediately shake my head. Her face, along with the other two, dim in excitement. "Why not?" Sweetie Bell asks, pouting her lips.

That's just not my style..I've gone through that phase a long time ago. I know it's just a kids thing, but still. Maybe I could just agree and move on with it without really having to do anything. "I don't need mine." Good..Maybe now they'll let it go. Who am I kidding, they're kids. Little tenacious fillies with fire in their hearts, they aren't going to stop.

"You don't need yours?!" Questions Scootaloo, more curious than surprised.

Hmm...I probably don't need to tell them anything more than a 'Yes', but there's something in me that is just pushing me to tell them my reasoning. Why I don't believe in the whole 'cutie marks' thing, and why it agitates me so much. Yeah...I think I'll do that. "Do you fillies want to hear a story?" I should have said, 'Alright, storytime!' just to be ironic.

They each jump up and plop down right in front of me, beaming at my face as they listen intently.

Kids...Well, here we go. "I was much like you three at one point in time. when I was younger, yeah, but I can tell you girls got things with more optimism. I..Was alone. Maybe that's why you are more successful than me? Anyways, I got a lot of bad rep in school for it. Everyone else had theirs...Hoola hoops, flying, writing, creating, all of that. I had none of it. I [i]have[/i] none of it. and I don't want it." I pause for a moment, letting my words sink in. "I was trying to get a job from a..." I can't tell them who he [i]really[/i] was, they won't understand. They're too young. "Pony, and you know what the difference between a letter in your mail of approval and failure is?" I look at them, getting a little too into it. I have to calm down, they are just kids.."The fact your competition has a mark for it and you don't." I stare glumly at the ground, closing my eyes before I continue. "Can you tell me what a pony with a cutie mark does better than one who doesn't? I guarantee you that if I practiced hard enough at playing Poker, I'd be better than somepony with a Poker cutie mark!" My eyes get a little watery; I did not plan for that...They see it too, so I take a moment to collect myself. It's like I'm just pouring out my inner demons, not realizing I'm just talking to fillies. Little innocent fillies..."My point is: Experience over natural ability." I give a final sigh, looking at each of their faces.

Scootaloo just stares at me, blinking a couple times before ducking her head. Sweetie Bell does the same, but instead keeps looking at me. Her eyes looks hurt, full of empathy, or sympathy. I don't know the difference at this point. Applebloom is just looking at the ground, I'm even able to see her eyes. It's like three different similar reactions. Scootaloo stares, then looks away. Sweetie Bell just stares. And Applebloom just looks away. Really odd...

Who am I to say all this to a couple of little fillies? they didn't deserve any bit of that. "I'm sorry..." I rub a hoof against my face, wiping off the already dried couple of tears.

The only one to respond, Sweetie Bell, mutters an "It's okay..." then she too, is looking at the floor. Now things have come full circle.

Alright...I guess I have to do it. "I'll..." I dread the very [i]word[/i] I'm about to speak..."be a Cutie Mark Crusader." I bow my head in defeat and sigh. What I didn't see is each of their heads shoot up with beaming faces and immediately surround me. Wonderful.

"Yay! Yur gon' be a cutie mark crusader, really?!" Applebloom excitedly asks, hopping up and down. That reminds me of that pink mare that bounced unnaturally everywhere.

"Yes...I am." I grimly respond, raising an eyebrow as they all yell out,

"Yes!" Again, do they just plan their lines out or something?

Oh Cellestia, what have I gotten myself into? "Yes, yes...Relax, Please." I rub a hoof on my head, beginning to get a headache. Now that is just wonderful. Having to tend bar with a headache is probably the worst thing ever. Then I remember that I have all day too. Well [i]shit[/i].

They each stop bouncing, Scootaloo taking a liberty of just one extra. "Now we have four! this is so cool..." She barely contains her excitement as she rubs her hooves together mischeviously.

"Ya! Now we're the four musketeers!" Applebloom says, bringing her hoof up to mine for a bump. I don't want to correct the little filly, so I just lightly tap my hoof on hers and smile.

"So...What do I do as a Crusader?" I can guess already, but I'm just blowing time at this point. I really want a drink myself.

They all stand there for a moment in silence, until finally Sweetie Bell breaks it. "You go on an adventure to find your cutie mark!" She yells out excitedly.

Oh that's nice, definitely not going for that. "Oooh..That's what I do? Well, how about I try and get mine here? You know, as guard duty...For little fillies, like yourselves?" I grin a bit, cocking an eyebrow evilly.

They all jump, huddling together. "Oh shucks..." Applebloom mutters.

Well, that got it done pretty easy. "Relax...I'll be an undercover Crusader. That sound good?" Sounds pretty stupid to me, but anything that deals with a spy to kids is about the coolest thing ever.

Their eyes glow as they see their opportunity here and nod quickly, this time nod in unison.

"Alright then girls, run along. I'm sure there's many other ways to get your cutie marks than being rascals." Rascals...what the hell kind of name as that? My mom called me it a lot, but I don't even know what it means!

"Okay!" they chant together before unsurprisingly running off together, scurrying out the bar.

Finally...Gone. Making my way behind the bar, I put my own personal cup to good use and pour myself some wine. If I wanted to forget, I wouldn't got some Moonshine, but I'd rather get into a good mood. So thus, wine. I'm no experienced drinker or anything, I just know some things. Have to thank my father for that.

While I'm drinking down a cup of some good, classic wine, something is always ringing in my head. 'Cutie mark' Most idiotic name for a little sticker on your ass you could give. Who the hell am I anyway? A bar tender? Yeah, sure. A friend? I can be, I guess. I've already shown to some young mares I can be a good pony. Or was I showing myself...? Is this all backwards, and really [i]I[/i] am the one being given advice? That whole unnecessary speech was really made so I could come to an understanding? But...What? What the hell am I looking for? What's my mark? It's not bar tending, it's not talking, it's not magic, it's not heroism, it's not writing. If I would have a mark, it'd be being an idiot because I've wasted so much time all my damn life searching for something that I'll never need.

I take another sip of my wine and try to slow my breathing. If I'm going to be tending bar with four hours of sleep going for me and just going through a rough memory, I definitely need a little something in me. I don't like to find comfort in drinking, but wine'll have to do.

The wine has a slightly different effect on me though as I begin to go back...Back to a time when I was young, out going, ready, and willing to do anything. When I was with my father...

"Dad!" I storm into my father's office where he is coincidentally having a talk with his new partner, Tanis.

"Yes, Bud?" His voice is particularly annoyed as he takes his eyes from Tanis and plants them on me.

"Why did you do this?" I ask, demanding an explanation with less anger and more shock.

"Because Tanis is more qualified." My father nonchalantly responds.

"[i]More qualified?![/i]" I ask, the shock gone and fully suppressed by my anger.

"Yes...?" He says, holding his hoof out as if he has a plate in it where I'm meant to put my words on.

"I've got a degree in Business & Trade! [i]and I'm your son![/i]" I cry out, smashing my hoof on the ground. I don't even pay attention to Tanis who is just sitting there like this is a daily occurrence.

"He is a very intelligent young colt and I'm not about to give you an advantage because you're my son."

Without letting another word come out of his mouth, I burst out, pointing a hoof accusingly as I yell, "No, [b]fuck[/b] you! You think because he has a stupid ass mark on his flank that he will do infinitely better than anyone else?! Screw that! I know you don't like me and never will, so you can go rot like the old crackpot you are."

They booth stay quiet, and I don't even look at their faces as I walk back to the large double doors. Before I leave however, I tone my voice down to a much more serious octave. "You are not my father."

**Author's Note:**

I'm really sorry about the random [ ] things. I am too lazy to format the italics and bold lettering into this site. If it makes this story unappealing, you are welcome to going to FiMFiction and reading it there. If you're a more tolerable kind of person, then I hope you can forgive me. thanks!


End file.
